Recently, I found myself faced with an uncomfortable decision. It was a decision that, no matter what I chose to do, was going to force me to reevaluate my approach to daily living. It was a situation so perplexing in its suddenness that it caused me to question both my strength and my character as a woman.
As I tussled with the prospect of losing this small, yet seminal, amount of control that I had become accustomed to having in my life, I discovered something very important about myself—I’m still growing as both a physical and emotional being.
I had begun to pride myself on being able to be both honest and real where matters of life were concerned and I no longer thought I was capable of such immature regressions because I understood, theoretically, the ramifications of each decision I made and each conflict I was presented with resolving. I had convinced myself that having knowledge about the outcome made me immune to reacting to anything in a rash manner.
I was wrong.
Here’s a clue for all of you who, like me, have bought into the notion that your mental state is at-ease and completely mature: it isn’t and you’re not.
There are challenges awaiting each of us in this world and those challenges are meant to act as reminders of not only how far you have to go, but of how much you’ve truly learned about your strength and integrity.
You cannot prepare for everything. Life is not predictable and your emotional self is not always prepared to handle everything that comes its way. You are meant to respond and act spontaneously, sometimes without warning or rationality, and that’s okay.
Go with it.
The crime there is never in being true to your feeling, but rather in not recognizing the experience as an opportunity for growth and recognition of both where you are and where you someday want to be.