I’m terrible with money. I’m not saying I can’t make decisions on where to put it, how to spend it, or who to give it to, but only that where money is concerned I am terrible about negating my priority as a mother in favor of helping out the pockets or lifestyle of a friend or family member.
My theory as far as money is concerned is fairly straightforward: live your life and I’ll live mine. While I am fully aware that this goes against the philosophy I espouse here on how life is about creating unity amongst each other and tossing out material notions, I am also quite content holding this ideal because I feel my family comes first—I won’t jeopardize their comfort or needs simply to prove I am not selfish or superficial.
As children growing up in a single-parent household, my mother’s main concern was that we have the privileges she never had growing up as the eldest of nine children. She didn’t always have the opportunity to get the things she wanted, when she wanted them, but that feeling of ‘want’ embedded within her the desire to educate and place herself in a position to where when she had children of her own, they would have more than she ever could have imagined for herself—and we did.
My goal is to carry that standard forward for my children. I want them to see things I’ve never seen, do things I’ve never done, and experience life in a way that makes them know how big this world is and how much of a right they have to make their place in it be a special one. And, to be honest, it takes money to do many of those things.
So, when a person (family member, friend, or otherwise) asks me for money that is outside of my comfort level, I have no trouble saying no because I have to consider the repercussions of that decision, on my family and our life, beyond just that moment. That’s the honest truth.
Does that mean I don’t lend money to those in need? No, it doesn’t, it just means I know there’s a difference between being helpful and giving your money away. I choose to be helpful when and where I can, but I never do it without considering my priorities first and that should never be considered as a form of selfishness—in my opinion.