I have bad days—days where I feel worthless, unfit to be a mother/wife, and completely dismayed that the path I’ve set myself on is one that will lead me straight into the bowels of hell—I am not unlike anyone in that regard, as we all have days where we question our purpose.
However, once I pull myself out of that pit of despair and self-loathing, I remember I am a good person, with a good heart, and I try to view such moments of negative thinking as personal challenges to my resolve as opposed to signs that things are about to get worse.
Even so, many of us have a problem doing the latter and we interpret these moments not as challenges, but as chores, and in so doing greet the roadblocks placed in our way by such momentary losses of confidence with disdain—they’re just “one more thing” thrown on top of an already crappy day.
I empathize with those of you who feel that way—I used to feel much the same—but after marriage and children, I no longer feel I have the luxury of lingering in negativity for too long because it leads to a lack of productivity and I have too many responsibilities to be unproductive.
So, what I try to do each day is reaffirm my strengths. I remind myself that I can handle anything and if I can’t handle it right then, I try to move beyond it—save it for meditation and reflection at a later time if necessary—but my ultimate goal is not to emotionally linger inside that negativity.
Now, I know what you’re saying, that approach doesn’t always work in a job situation. Sometimes you’re assigned a task that spells misery from the start and will be miserable until you get the job done. I understand that, but notice I said “don’t emotionally linger”?
There is a difference.
Even the work day ends at some point, right? So, the question you have to answer is do you leave the misery at its source or do you carry it home with you?
If the answer is the latter, then there is your problem. You cannot be effective at home, with friends, in relationships, or anywhere else if you never detach from the negativity and frustrations that often play a major hand in laying the foundation for the self-loathing I spoke of at the start.
All of us are going to be faced with moments where we feel poorly, inside and out, but the choice to keep and carry those things around versus letting them go belongs to you as an individual and you should never place that power in the hands of another.
Be cognizant of what you internalize so that you can refocus your energy on enhancing the things that fill you with a greater sense of purpose and joy as opposed to holding onto the things that are suffocating you and making your life, as well as those around you, less rewarding.