I recently became enamored of a song by Beyonce entitled, “The Best Thing I Never Had”. The gist of the song is she dodged a bullet by not staying with the guy she thought was everything, but who treated her like she was nothing. It’s both funny and poignant because it gives you a new way of looking at a relationship that was likely doomed from the start.
I spent a number of years in a bad relationship myself. I was young, in high school, and didn’t know much about love except what I saw in movies. I suspect my ex didn’t know much either, but he seemed to know just as little about being a decent human being as he often treated me with little respect.
That said, it was my responsibility to love and respect myself enough that his behavior should have been unacceptable to me. I take full responsibility for my role in enabling him to be the person he was where I was concerned and I don’t regret the lessons I learned from that pain.
Years later, I look back on that experience of “first love” as one of necessity.
I spent a long time pining and hoping he would make a change before I finally realized that it was me who needed to do the changing. Once I did, I was able to open my heart to other possibilities and, soon after, love found me.
We are all tested in our relationships and none of us truly knows what our hearts are capable of until we stop accepting the unacceptable. Take time to figure out what you want from love before you give your heart away.
Trust me, it’s worth the wait.
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