Monthly Archives: April 2012

So…About That Dress I Was Preparing to Wear

Recall about a week ago when I mentioned the hubby and I were invited to a wedding and I’d found a dress to wear but wasn’t altogether sure if I’d be able to pull it off? Well, said wedding was this past Saturday and I finally had the opportunity to wear that steal of a deal dress I found while vacationing near D.C. about a month ago.

(In case you don’t remember, I was determined to wear the dress sans Spanx or any type of armor).

Well, the dress was more than a hit and I figured why not share the final result with you guys…what follows are a couple of pics—one with my handsome date for the night—of what I think turned out to be one lovely evening and, still (even with me in it), one hot-looking dress.

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Yes, Happy Couples Fight Too…

I’ve been married for over 10-years to a wonderful man. He’s everything I ever wanted and I have absolutely no doubt he was God’s gift to me. That said, I can describe our marriage as such: Loving. Passionate. Blessed. We still hold hands, talk on the phone for hours, miss each other relentlessly when we’re not together, and love as if we only met yesterday. He is my definition of what perfection in a man looks like and I could never imagine my heart in the hands of another.

Even so, I have yet to find one marriage that is perfect. Two people living and sharing the same space, on a daily basis, forever is not something that is always easy to do. And, given that fact, we become prone to disagreements about different things (money, time spent together, paint color, etc.).

However, it isn’t the disagreements that matter but rather how you manage those disagreements.

For years I watched my parents struggle to find the ability to communicate effectively. However, they couldn’t find the solution to their problems without hurting one another and that made for a difficult marriage and, eventually, a painful divorce. Yet it also made me keenly aware of how quickly things can fall apart if you’re not constantly working together towards the same goal.

You have to know yourself, your mate, and your boundaries if everything is going to work as you’d like. And you cannot allow the elements that exist outside of your home to influence the approach you take inside of it.

When single girlfriends ask me how we continue to make our marriage work, I tell them it’s because, if nothing else, we know that at the end of the day, we belong to each other and there is no place else we’d rather be.

We start from there and let God help us with the rest.

Be Realistic

I have a pet peeve and some people might call it a rather obnoxious pet peeve, but it’s a pet peeve nonetheless; I hate impatience where losing weight is concerned. People always seem to forget getting fit and losing weight is a process, and look opt for the easy way out; but that’s the worst approach to fitness you can take because fit takes time.

While I continually strive for my own version of a goddess body, I have never in my life ingested a supplement (outside of vitamins) or subscribed to a fad diet—no Atkins, no Grapefruit Diet, no South Beach, no Zone…nothing, Nathan, nada—I simply don’t believe in any of that stuff.

Now, I know what some of you might be saying, “good for you, but you’ve probably never lived outside of a size six in your life”; not true.

Despite maintaining an exercise regimen and a fairly decent diet, I still managed to gain better than 40lbs with my first child. And after he was born, I did not dive back into my routine right away  because I was too busy and overjoyed being a new mommy. I didn’t have the time or the motivation to do anything more than a little yoga—and not even that was on a regular basis.

That said, once I finally did find the motivation to get things going again, I knew I had my work cut out for me because not only had I gained weight, but I’d lost muscle tone and definition. All the hours spent in gyms and on great eating habits officially went down the drain between my son’s birth and the birth of our second child—a span of roughly 2 1/2 years.

However, once I got going again, I did so with one very important fact in mind: it took you three-years to get here, it’ll take you at least that long to get back. And trust me, that wasn’t an easy fact to accept. I certainly wanted to reach for that quick fix—I won’t lie, it crossed my mind for a nano—but I knew that would be temporary and, as you know, my personal philosophy is “fit is forever”. So I started slow and set realistic goals along the way and now, three-years removed from that personal pep talk, I am further along than if I’d never started.

You cannot be discouraged about what you’re not losing. You have to be real with yourself and set reachable goals. That’s the only way you’ll stick with it.

And remember…take your time.