I’ve been married for over 10-years to a wonderful man. He’s everything I ever wanted and I have absolutely no doubt he was God’s gift to me. That said, I can describe our marriage as such: Loving. Passionate. Blessed. We still hold hands, talk on the phone for hours, miss each other relentlessly when we’re not together, and love as if we only met yesterday. He is my definition of what perfection in a man looks like and I could never imagine my heart in the hands of another.
Even so, I have yet to find one marriage that is perfect. Two people living and sharing the same space, on a daily basis, forever is not something that is always easy to do. And, given that fact, we become prone to disagreements about different things (money, time spent together, paint color, etc.).
However, it isn’t the disagreements that matter but rather how you manage those disagreements.
For years I watched my parents struggle to find the ability to communicate effectively. However, they couldn’t find the solution to their problems without hurting one another and that made for a difficult marriage and, eventually, a painful divorce. Yet it also made me keenly aware of how quickly things can fall apart if you’re not constantly working together towards the same goal.
You have to know yourself, your mate, and your boundaries if everything is going to work as you’d like. And you cannot allow the elements that exist outside of your home to influence the approach you take inside of it.
When single girlfriends ask me how we continue to make our marriage work, I tell them it’s because, if nothing else, we know that at the end of the day, we belong to each other and there is no place else we’d rather be.
We start from there and let God help us with the rest.