If I could tell my 21-year old self anything today, it would be the following: take good care of your skin, watch what you eat, and remember to spend time with your loved ones whenever possible.
That final epiphany came after my beloved grandmother passed away last year around this time. She died at the age of 71 without the benefit of having anyone around her she could truly depend on. And, despite how much she meant to me, I hadn’t seen her in the several years prior to visiting her in the hospital–a mere four-days before she died.
The thing I regret most about my not making the effort to see her–letting soccer and dance mom interfere with every opportunity–is my children didn’t have the opportunity to see her. That’s something I know she really wanted and that’s my cross to bear for the rest of my life.
While I consider myself to be a fairly easy person to get along with, I’m also very aware of how asinine my priorities can be when I’m not focused on what’s real; I’m hardly immune to the superficiality that goes along with being too focused on the external and not aware enough of the personal. As a matter of fact, I excel at the art of finding excuses when I don’t want to be somewhere…and I do it so well that I often believe what I’m saying is true; that I actually don’t have the time.
The lies we can tell ourselves…
To say “I’m imperfect” is only a cop-out way of saying: sue me, I’m doing the best I can given the circumstances.
That said, I realized I needed to do a helluva lot better if I expect to get anything out of this life. I’m just sorry I had to lose such a very important part of my world before I began figuring that out.